"THE FRUIT"

The year was 1981 – grade 7. An experiment was started.  What would my ham sandwich look like if I put it in a margarine container and kept it in my locker at school for a week?

Well after a week it was of course mouldy and smelly – it also shrunk a little bit. It was decided to add leftover lunch items as space became available. After 8 months “THE FRUIT” as it was affectionately called built up an excess of gas and exploded in my locker. That was a nasty clean-up. It was given a proper burial in the schools backfield. It was then decided that the experiment must continue. I got a giant glass mason jar (jam jar) with a metal lid and rubber seal – this was a big ass jar – it would hold the beast. The process started again. The experiment would last until 1986- 5 years.  Slowly bits of every type of food were added the first couple of years, along with other objects which included- Plastic army men, hot wheels cars, quarters, nickels, dimes, dead insects etc. These were added to see if they would be “eaten” by “THE FRUIT”.

“THE FRUIT” was kept in my garage in-between school years – but was always brought back to my locker the first day of school. After the first couple of years the jar was filled to capacity and turned into a semi-liquid every color in the rainbow jar of goo. Some things disappeared in it others like the hot wheels car remained visible. Masks and gloves were to be worn at all times if the jar was opened for fear of gas fumes, burns to flesh and possible experiment escape. (it moved inside that jar like it was alive- I’m not joking) The girls with the locker beside mine were afraid of it, but respected its power. I assured them it was under control. One day when I was walking down the hallway to science class I saw a quick flash of something small running down the hallway. I thought “HOLY SHIT ITS LOOSE”. Then I saw it was a chicken someone had let free in the hallway as a prank. I breathed a sigh of relief. Grade 12 came to an end – I brought “THE FRUIT” home.   Dale, Hugh and I opened the fruit one last time and dared each other to take a whiff. We tried to light it on fire to see if it had become flammable -lit a match to it (no dice).  We put the lid back on and gave it a proper burial in my back yard. One day it’s going to break free and go on a rampage looking for its creator / or / explode and take out a few city blocks. I am glad I moved out of the neighbourhood. Hugh still lives in the same house- it will find him first and devour him-giving me some warning and time to get the hell out of town.

ORIGINAL "THE FRUIT"