The Scent of A MAN?

I remember a time when big name stores had 8 story buildings in the Heart of a City. One could choose from at least 10 sets of doors to enter these behemoth buildings and we all had our favorite entrances and favorite places to meet family and friends.

I used to always pick a door that was the farthest from the perfume departments as these areas would literally take my breath away. You had people from every age generation and every walk of life trying on different perfumes and fragrances. Some had the intention of buying perfume for themselves or as gifts for those they loved and there were others just spraying some on because they could never afford the price. All in all it just made the air in those areas toxic for people with asthma or respiratory conditions.

In today’s world this has all changed. The new norm are malls and box stores so there is only one way out.

Have you ever noticed that in order to enter a big store now, you have no alternative but to walk right through this toxic wasteland. The only way to get to the part of the store you need to get to is to hold your breath and walk as fast as possible.

Today I was taken by surprise. I came to one of these stores in a Mall and was trying to time my last breath before the fast walk.

As I walked through this perfume heaven, I noticed men walking towards me all sniffing pieces of paper, lost in some trance, and smiling. What the hell was this weird twisted behavior. I had to keep going or run out of breath and just as I was almost through this nightmare a voice distracts me from my goal.

I have to breathe now, and I am agitated. I say pardon me to this Juan Valdez looking man and he says again in his foreign accent, “ Would you like to smell the fragrance of a Man?” In my agitated state I respond, “ No Thank you, I would rather smell women.” He looks at me all confused and I hurry on my way. When I reach a place where the air is breathable I come to my senses and realize what was going on. I can only assume Juan Valdez was with a perfume company and was trying to sell a new product. The men that were sniffing little pieces of paper were probably given these samples to sniff by Juan Valdez.  I felt stupid now but for guys like me that always avoided perfume sections of stores how would I know that men were just as interested perfumes as women. But in all honesty there has to be a better way of asking men to test men’s perfumes on their olfactory senses then by asking them that funny question, “WOULD YOU LIKE TO SMELL THE FRAGRANCE OF A MAN” That would make anyone run through this department.

HEY KIDS YOU CAN RUN AWAY FROM A CRIME SCENE JUST LIKE YOUR HERO

CLASSIC 1979 COMIC BOOK AD

IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME- SEE YOU IN THE BUNKERS

WHERE ARE THE CEREAL TOYS

What has happened to the toys and great prizes that used to be in cereal? I was walking down the cereal aisle the other day and I couldn’t find one box that had a prize in it. When I was a kid almost every cereal box had some kind of prize in it.

I remember

ACTION FIGURES

TRADING CARD OF SPORTS AND MOVIES – I STILL HAVE THE 3D HOCKEY CARDS AND MINI HOCKEY CARDS ON A WHOLE SHEET WITH THE ENTIRE TEAM FROM POST CEREALS 

LITTLE PLASTIC FIGURES FROM MOVIE AND TV (WINNIE THE POO) THAT WENT ON THE END OF YOUR PENCIL. THERE WERE ALSO BIG PENCIL HOLDERS THAT WERE FROM THE DISNEY MOVIE “THE BLACK HOLE”

LITTLE MINI BUSTS OF HOCKEY PLAYERS

LITTLE STAR TREK HEADS + MINIATURE STAR SHIPS

LITTLE DISCS THAT HAD PICTURES OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF AIRPLANES – SOME HAD HOCKEY PICS- SOME WERE OF THE BAND “THE MONKEYS”.

SOME CEREALS CHEAPED OUT AND MADE YOU CUT THE CARDS AND PICTURES RIGHT OFF THE BOX ITSELF. SOME MADE YOU COLLECT BOX TOPS AND MAIL AWAY FOR THE PRIZE. THOSE WERE USUALLY GOOD ONES. EVEN NESTLE QUICK HAD SOME COOL 3D TRADING CARDS OF STAR CONSTELLATIONS AND ANIMALS.  RED ROSE TEA HAD THE GLASS FIGURES OF ANIMALS AND FAIRY TALES- ALSO A HUGE ARRAY OF MINI CARDS OF ANIMALS OF THE WORLD, BIRDS- A WHOLE BUNCH. CRACKER JACK HAD MOSTLY 3D ANIMAL AND INSECT CARDS. EVEN PEANUT BUTTER HAD HOCKEY CARDS UNDER THE LID.

I used to beg my mother to buy cereal just so I could get the prize. I had no intention of eating the cereal but I promised her I would. As soon as I got home I would rip that box open- take out the toy and put that box on the shelf where it would sit until my mother threw it out. I eventually had to eat a few token bowls to prove my sincerity. Then I would just slowly throw out the cereal until the box was empty. I still have most of the toys I collected. My kids don’t know what they are missing out on. The great prize hunt was one of my favourite memories.  Those were the days.