A FISTFUL OF STEAK

The year 1988 - The place "the Kelly Inn"  Grand Forks
This was another trip I will never forget with "DALE + HUGH"
There was another double team plot in the making. This one again had Hugh as the victim. Our plan hatched early. Dale and myself took a side trip to Piggly Wiggley while Hugh was at "western outfitters". We went straight for the meat section hoping to find something disgusting like a cows tongue or sheep stomach, or even a liver. No such luck- we had to settle for an oversize sirloin steak for $12. We picked up Hugh at the mall and drove back to the hotel.  Then we waited.
2:00 am - Hugh finally settles in for bed.
3:00 am - After an hour passes and we are sure he is asleep we spring into action.
I grab the steak from underneath the bed and grip it in my right fist. I half straddle Hugh's bed- raise my fist and bring it down hard across Hugh's left cheek.
Timed perfectly  Dale shouts "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HP SAUCE WITH THAT"
I quickly jump back into bed as if nothing happened. Hugh still half asleep says "WHAT THE FUCK"
I respond "WAS THAT WELL DONE ENOUGH FOR YA"
Hugh grumbles something we cant understand. Dale says "I THINK YOU BROKE HIS JAW".
We crack jokes and laugh for the next 45 minutes. The next morning Hugh says that his right jaw hurts like hell. I tell him that I hit him on his left jaw. He continues to argue that I struck his right jaw because that's the side that hurts, hes insistent. It was years later I was reading a medical journal that said when the jaw experiences trauma to one side, the opposite side feels the pressure and pain. Mystery solved.
The following evening while the three of us were watching TV someone knocks at the door. I go to the door - open it and whoosh- a big bucket of water tips over in our room soaking the floor. Classic prank. I ran down the hall to catch the perpetrator's but no-one is in sight. This and other damage to the room that we wont go into at this time almost caused an international incident. Mr. Ron Gautier was not impressed.


Next blog

THE TURKEY BASTER