OH – THOSE DOWNTOWN BUS TRIPS

OH – THOSE DOWNTOWN BUS TRIPS

When I was younger my mother and I would hop on the bus and go downtown. We usually went shopping or to a movie. My highlight of the trip for me was to go to “THE METROPOLITAN” for lunch. The “MET” was half store half 1950’s soda shop – it was awesome. It was like stepping back in time. It had a snake like counter with big red stools. They had the best fries I’ve ever had. We would go to the Bay, Eatons, and the old classic theatres to watch movies. What did all these have in common - They were all on the “SOUTH” side of Portage. The “NORTH” side of Portage was off limits. You only went on that side if you wanted to get stabbed, shot, or murdered. (According to my mom).I always thought she was paranoid but looking back it kinda was true. Does anybody remember “THE FAMILY HAMBURGER HOUSE”?    If there were 10 stabbings in the city, 9 of them happened at the family hamburger house.   When we rode the bus – it stopped on the north side and we had to move our asses to cross the street to safety.  Even the bus trips had their dangers. One particular trip was an eye opener for me. I remember this incident very clearly. We were on the bus when it made a stop and picked up a drunk. The drunk started an argument with the bus driver because the bus didn’t go down the street he was going to. They were yelling back and forth at each other. My mom was getting a little antsy. All of a sudden the drunk pulls out a knife from his jacket- I was immediately grabbed and shoved under our seat by my mom. I could still see everything from under the seat. The bus driver and drunk started wrestling and fighting right at the front of the bus. The fight only lasted a couple of minutes when the bus driver got the upper hand and tossed this piece of crap out the front door head first and quickly shut the door. The bus driver sat down in his chair and tilted the big mirror to see his face. I could see his face in the mirror – I don’t know if he got cut with the knife but his face was all covered in blood. The bus was dead silent. The bus driver picked up his radio and called dispatch about what happened. He then wiped the blood off his face- turned around and asked if everybody was ok. The whole bus started to clap and cheer. He then continued on his route making all the stops. This guy should have gotten the bus driver/hero/ass kicker of the year award.

Another trip downtown on the bus involved another drunk. He got on the bus and sat in the seat right in front of us. All of a sudden he starts moaning and groaning and starts puking his guts out on the floor. I remember seeing the puke splatter back under our seat. My feet didn’t reach the floor but my mom’s did. She got puke all over her shoes. She was not happy. We both got up and went to sit down at the front of the bus.

I also had a bus window right beside me shatter – covering me in little pieces of glass. I did not get cut or anything – just annoyed. No wonder I hate the bus.